Dickhead Hiring Alert

Massive Dickhead Set to Assume Supervisory Position in Logan County Public Library (Paris, Arkansas) (479) 963-2371. Negotiators exited the La Quinta conference room late last night feeling in the words of one federal mediator “like we'd been dry fucked by a rhino. You’re not like a cop right? I swear to Buddha she was an adult.” Peccadilloes aside, at issue, the likely appointment of long time scourge of Technical Services Mr. Peanut Shqwertyuiop (pictured at left) a man described by his supervisor as “a walking, talking hemorrhoid. Ya know I’m like pro-life and all but if somebody fired a cap in his ass I pledge here and now I wouldn’t say a word. To anybody. Ev-ARR.” Upon announcement of Mr. Shqwertyuiop's name groups from across the employment spectrum joined together to sink this asshole's chances at career advancement. Despite a Schopenhauer-like pessimism among its ranks, federal negotiators said they would gather the parties around “the old bullshit table” for another round of talks tomorrow afternoon.