One of the more compelling presentations at the South Central Chapter of ASI (The American Society of Indexers) Fall 2007 held in beautiful Woodlands, Texas was Fran Disco Librarian lecture entitled “Why You Suck.” Beginning his speech with a confession of sorts, Fran admitted ‘This is a four toke lecture composed under the ambrosial influence of sun ripened Columbian Gold, from the Balsisam region. ‘Nuff said.” His introduction went on to lay the weird ground work for an unsettling voyage into the mind of man whose consciousness has been blasted from iterative encounters with a “hookah smoking caterpillar.” There is no way to summarize what the hell he was talking about so to let you in on it dear Reader we’re giving you the first and last “paragraphs” of Fran’s presentation. Please draw your own conclusions we quote: “Starting with “a blizzard, my friend ….and the Warwick framework you corporate …..what? … oh, yeah … Hey Mrs. Walsh, how do you Fuzzy set your Information package? Go find a tree and lift a leg you wench. Okay things crystallized after the ‘shrooms kicked in … then I heard the dread footsteps on the Exhaustivity staircase….And…then…one day there were strange noises like that freaking Syndetic voice which is reminiscent of ‘Cousin It’ on The Addams Family that remains my go to voice for disembodied garbled indecipherable stoner driving directions. Kinda like a Eurasian Taco seasonings for your mental brain pan if you get my ontological drift…”
Unfortunately just as he seemed to be coming to some sort of point, Fran disrobed and, after a series of deep pelvic thrusts towards the audience, left the stage.
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